CREATING LOVING RELATIONSHIPS
We all need relationships. Our connection with others is one of the most important parts of our lives. It is through connecting with significant others, families and friends that we find meaning, purpose, love, and joy in life. However, relationships can also be difficult and cause hurt, anger, anxiety and depression. Awareness and efforts in the following areas can help create more loving relationships.
CLARIFYING EXPECTATIONS
Too often we “assume” that the other person has the same expectations we do, which is often not the case. Talking about expectations can prevent conflicts later on. This is especially true in marriages where important topics such as handling finances, work plans, children & parenting, and extended families need to be discussed.
IMPROVING COMMUNICATION
Connecting takes time and effective communication takes skills. In today’s busy world, making the TIME to talk can often be a challenge, but needs to be a priority in relationships. LISTENING is one of the most important skills. It requires looking at the person talking, hearing what is being said, understanding the person’s feelings and avoiding judgement. SHARING our thoughts and feelings with others also takes skills. We need to be thoughtful about what we say and how we say it.
MANAGING DIFFERENCES
We are each unique with our own thoughts and feelings. Rather than trying to change others, we need to accept and value differences as a way to grow and find balance in our lives. There are going to be conflicts in relationships. These need to be addressed in a respectful caring way that seeks resolution or middle ground and avoids a right/wrong perspective. I like these quotes from a Source Unknown:
PERSONS ARE GIFTS which come to me wrapped. Some are wrapped very beautifully. Some come in very ordinary wrapping paper. Others have been mishandled in the mail. Once in a while there is a Special Delivery. Sometimes the gift is very easy to open up. Sometimes I need others to help. I am a person. Therefore, I am a gift too. Maybe I’ve never seen the wonderful gift that I am. Could God’s gifts be anything but Beautiful?
Gracie Moyers, M.Ed.
